Learning to be Whole By Yourself


The Need.

We look every which way for guidance and direction in life. We fill ourselves with anxiety grasping at the thought that we need someone else in our life for that direction; that purpose. Almost everyone does it. It’s become close to mandatory now, wanting to be with someone that is. The media pushes relationships upon us versus exemplifying individuality and independency. We need to learn to be whole by ourselves.

The Insult

You were born a whole person with a whole brain and a whole heart. YOU were born whole. To depend on someone else to complete you, is to say “fuck you” to all of your innate potential to be an already full entity in this world. That space, that void you’re looking to be filled, it can only be filled by you because it’s within you. Be kind to yourself, filling your gaps liquidly with love. Self love is the root to all love. It allows you the ability to have a healthy mindset. Aside from that, self love looks gorgeous on you. It is so beautiful to see someone so full of love for themselves. The problem is the belief of being incomplete.


Being Whole by Yourself, Alone Time

Do things ALONE. Learn to love your presence, your company. You are you and that’s what makes this all so beautiful, because you are an individual. Embrace that. Go to fucking lunch with yourself, for yourself, by yourself. Enjoy that shit, man. Get over the fact that you think everyone is staring at you because you’re alone. I promise you, nobody gives a single shit of your alone existence. And if they do, I believe that’s a bigger personal issue for them than it is for you.


Your value comes from you

Learn to Fucking Laugh at Yourself

Fun times with Hurricane Irma: 2017

Don’t mistake laughing at yourself as being harsh and critical of yourself. That’s negative shitty behavior, and that’s not the fuck allowed up in here. Laughter at yourself can be a wonder drug. If it’s not hurting you or anyone else then why not give it a good ole chuckle. My life and I are a constant mess but what’s even better is that I don’t have to search for the humor, it’s all in front of me. It’s about perspective, having the right perspective.



Learn what you like. You must find and be aware of your own wants, needs, thoughts, turn ons, turn offs and many other things. Self discovery babyyyyy, it’s quite an adventure. While you’re at it find out your sexual desires. As I said above, turn ons; turn offs. Learn those. What kind of porn do you like? Do you even like porn? Have you tried masturbating? Explore these things. These are all personal, alone type of things. Learn them, love them.

Even if it’s not sex, find what sets your soul on fire. What is your passion? This is something you find upon a self fulfilling journey that no one else other than you can fulfill. It doesn’t have to be a life long passion, it can be something as small as learning to love decorating planners (cough cough, guilty). Some might see that as very odd and others might get the same female boner over it as I do. All in all, it’s your desires- you own that shit!

Just find what rocks your cock, babydoll.

I highly suggest a workbook to help you work through all of this! This one is perfect and inexpensive.


You can find me on:

Instagram: @mentalrocknrollsex

Twitter: @SexHealthRnR

Pinterest: Sex, Mental Health & Rock n Roll



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Xx, Kyles



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